Sometimes when we are so encapsulated in the day to day things that we become disenchanted with the fact that what we are doing today could come to a complete halt if life were to happen to us. When I say if “life were to happen” I am talking about those excessively positive like love or the birth of a child, or excessively negative moments like sickness and death. At times we do not give ourselves space for life to happen. If your like me your day may be jam packed from 8am to 8pm, a short recovery period then right back to work from 10pm to 2am. With just a short glitch we inevitably fall behind schedule. Well this week life happened to me…
While sitting in one of my courses I took a brief facebook break and discovered that one of my friends from home had passed away that morning. Luckily there was only 15mins of class left yet so I sat quietly completely shaken. I found my head spinning, completely unable to process what I was feeling. Yet I had to pull it together as I still had my methods course from 4:30-7. I walked to the lab to print my assignment for the class that would be due in my next class. When I finished I entered the classroom and sat. One of my classmates from across the room observed my demeanor and asked if I was okay, I tried to snap back and quickly answered “Yea I’m just kind of out of it.” But I wasn’t okay. About 15 minutes into the class I walked to my professor with tears welling in my eyes and my assignment in hand and told her I had to leave and that I could not be here. I slipped my hoody on, so know one could see my eyes and walked back to my apartment in tears. I laid down for a couple hours hoping to suppress the pain I was feeling but when I woke up it was still there. I tried to power up for the paper I had due the next day and the lesson plans I would have to teach the next morning, but I was only able to make it through my lesson plans. Life had thrown off whatever plans I thought I had for the night. I am going to miss my friend but I thank him for reminding me to cherish my relationships and be thankful for good health because when either of those collapse we have no choice but to set aside the other things.
Despite the many obligations we may have whether it may be student teaching, graduate school, work, research or anything else when life happens everything must be put on hold. It is imperative that we prioritize ourselves and what we are feeling in those moments so that later once we have grieved and grown, we can effectively go back and pick up where we left off.
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